“Doc prescribed these pills for the pain, but my stomach is so small now, I can't swallow them”

Joey had his stomach stapled six months before. These days, his stomach can only hold about one ounce of fluid.

“So three times a day, doctor's orders, I drop a pill into a few ounces of Budweiser with one packet of Equal and let it fizz for a minute. Some kind of chemical reaction dissolves the pill it’s pretty neat.”

Joey smiled and drank the concoction. Visible behind him is a photo of he and his brother when they were featured in Discovery magazine six years ago. Joey and Richie are well known in the circle of amateur astronomers since their discovery of a new comet. They named it Mildred, after their mother. In the photo, Joey is perhaps three times the size of his brother, his exaggerated belly nearly touching the floor.

“My wife couldn’t believe the doc prescribed three beers a day, she even called him to make sure I didn't hear that dumb shit from the bartender at the VFW hall.”

Joey fought in the Korean War. He was active duty for twelve days before his platoon was ambushed by Chinese troops. He was shot twice in the abdomen, one bullet grazing his lower spine. The hormone treatment he received in Hawaii after his surgery is what he claims caused him to start gaining weight. He peaked at close to six hundred pounds.

“Then I told her the doc prescribed pussy three times a week, but she wasn’t buying it.”