Oh puh-lease! This is akin to "I'd rather be slapping wife-beaters," or "I'd rather be dismantling puppy-crushing machines." This perfect example of masturbatory expression is what makes me want to slash some tires. Precisely how does one "smash" Imperialism? By writing your ass-hat Congressman? Not on your life, we trust representative democracy as much as we trust Dick Cheney in a Wal-Mart smock! The answer is Organic Gardening!. That's the way to put the power to the Proletariat!
My friend Meghan, when travelling the treacherous streets of Boston, will often spit on the cars of inconsiderate motorists. I was very tempted, but apparently it's become all the rage in France.

“Doc prescribed these pills for the pain, but my stomach is so small now, I can't swallow them”

Joey had his stomach stapled six months before. These days, his stomach can only hold about one ounce of fluid.

“So three times a day, doctor's orders, I drop a pill into a few ounces of Budweiser with one packet of Equal and let it fizz for a minute. Some kind of chemical reaction dissolves the pill it’s pretty neat.”

Joey smiled and drank the concoction. Visible behind him is a photo of he and his brother when they were featured in Discovery magazine six years ago. Joey and Richie are well known in the circle of amateur astronomers since their discovery of a new comet. They named it Mildred, after their mother. In the photo, Joey is perhaps three times the size of his brother, his exaggerated belly nearly touching the floor.

“My wife couldn’t believe the doc prescribed three beers a day, she even called him to make sure I didn't hear that dumb shit from the bartender at the VFW hall.”

Joey fought in the Korean War. He was active duty for twelve days before his platoon was ambushed by Chinese troops. He was shot twice in the abdomen, one bullet grazing his lower spine. The hormone treatment he received in Hawaii after his surgery is what he claims caused him to start gaining weight. He peaked at close to six hundred pounds.

“Then I told her the doc prescribed pussy three times a week, but she wasn’t buying it.”

href='http://www.hello.com/' target='ext'>