Help a Brother Out...

Woody Allen has been trying to figure out women, and making movies about it, for about the last 300 years. Instead of getting any closer, I think it's obvious that he's pushed us, as a gender, further into the abyss than ever before. That Men Are From Mars... fancy lad John Gray certainly didn't get us any closer. He used to live under a vow of celibacy, for god's sake!

And don't even get me started on the myriad of daytime messiahs like Dr. Phil and Montel. Their respective loafer lightness is more likeley to get us an unwelcome green room cop-a-feel than any meaningful advice on relationships.

Ladies, we just don't get you. Some would say that it's this very inability for the the sexes to comprehend each other's motives and desires that makes relationships so interesting in the first place. Like most men, I fall somewhere in between the "vive la difference" camp and the "why do I have to put the toilet seat down, but you don't have to leave it up?" alliance.

One sure thing, however, is that we need to stick together. That being said, I hope someone out there, who can actually use it, will buy this. I mean, there are limits to what even liquor can impart the ability to endure.