The irony is, of course, that the post in which I chided the sick fucks that would search for such filth, has caused three separate hits to this site from twisted sex-perverts searching Yahoo for “Muniz naked.” For curiosity’s sake, I went to Yahoo and ran my own search using the same terms, only to figure out exactly where in the order of hits this site appeared. My eyebrow was raised instantly upon seeing a site entitled, “Shirtless Frankie Muniz Fan Club.” Now this I gotta see, so I clicked.

The poor, pathetic, aged computer I use here in the office was instantly bombarded with pop-up after pop-up of “Asian Sluts Who Drink Piss!” and “Dutch Girls Must Be Punished for Having Big Boobs!!” and various other things I cannot bring myself to recollect. My computer got so bogged down with all this crap popping up over and over again that the whole thing froze and I lost the marketing letter I was typing only moments before.

Do you see what you have cost me, “Shirtless Frankie Muniz Fan Club?”

I knew that pitting myself against this gang would bring only suffering and regret, but I never knew how much.

I might also add that if you run a search on Yahoo with the terms “HOW TO DETERMINE HARNESS OF ROCKS THROUGH FINGERNAILS,” mine is the first site to appear. (note that the word “hardness” is missing the letter “d.”)

I’ll bet this is how Faulkner attracted fans.

And on a note of masturbatory self-aggrandizement, (come on, it’s Friday afternoon and the wife and I are going to Bagby Hot Springs this weekend, I’m in a saucy mood.) I would like to thank Small Flightless Bird for listing this sloppy excuse for self-expression as one of their favorite blogs, and in their words, “possibly the best blog ever.” Apparently they haven't bothered to read much of this crap, but I'll take it where I can get it.

For the first time ever, I get the unsubstantiated feeling that someone, somewhere out there is reading this drivel. To you, I say, have a nice weekend, sex-perverts.