Reaping What You Sow: Federalism, Not Wacky Tobacky

Yesterday, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled 6-3 that state allowances of marijuana usage and possession for medicinal purposes do not trump the federal ban and these patients and their doctors can be prosecuted under these restrictions.

Boy, howdy, ya’ll stepped in it this time, but iss ya own damn fault.

News flash: The War on Drugs has been an unmitigated failure since day one. The prohibition of drugs themselves has created the very crime you’re attempting to stamp out and the black market you created is the only reason drug prices remain high. Your bans are the very reason there is a drug problem!!




Unfortunately, I have no sympathy for pot smokers. I don’t smoke pot, but have always respected someone’s right to ingest whatever they see fit, either for recreational, medicinal, suicidal or “sitting on the couch watching Caddyshack” purposes. I have routinely signed petitions to strengthen Oregon’s medical marijuana laws, and the outright legalize the stuff. But you people get no sympathy from me regarding the decision of the Supreme Court because it’s mostly your fault. Your typical pot smoker, at least here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, can be safely described as a smelly, dread-ridden, pinko, bike-riding, protesting, tree-hugging, vegan, dirt worshipping Commie. Commensurate with this description, these folks are the kind of people that empower their government to step in and make activist decisions on their behalf, such as Roe v. Wade and the Assisted Suicide Act here in Oregon. While these things are fundamental rights under “physical sovereignty,” these activists have gone about it all wrong.

If you believe in the Constitutionality of Roe v. Wade, you cannot complain about Ashcroft v. Raich. Roe v. Wade, contrary to popular belief, does not guarantee the right of a woman to terminate a pregnancy. Roe v. Wade simply states that, according to the opinions of the justices of the Supreme Court, the state governments in the U.S. do not have the right to ban the practice of abortion, even if the majority of citizens in that state wish for a ban. Roe v. Wade is a perfect example of the Federal government over stepping its’ bounds and sticking its’ fat nose into the business of the states, and Ashcroft v. Raich is simply an extension of that situation. You Commie bastards, you’re the one’s that have empowered the Federal government to solve your problems for you in the first place, and now you’re pissed that they shot you in the foot with the gun you gave them!

To all you pot smokers out there, I feel for you. I feel even worse for the folks that really need the stuff to deal with chronic pain or the effects of chemotherapy. The answer lies not with demanding the government solve your problems, but with stripping the government of the ability to change these rules without your permission. Do you see why conservatives are always so up in arms about “activist courts?” There is nothing more enraging than a bunch of self-important, gown-clad, busybodies up on an oak bench declaring to the country what rights you do or do not have, especially when they’re dictating to sovereign states.

As an aside, I just want to point out that pot would most likely be legal if it weren’t for pot smokers. When you step in front of someone, wearing a giant plastic marijuana leaf necklace braided through your dreads, a Bob Marley t-shirt, giant, stinky corduroy pants, clay beads and wittled driftwood strung around your neck, your gross Rasta beard just crawling with parasites, reeking of patchouli and butt, and ask them to sign a petition to help legalize your favorite recreational drug... they’re not going to help you.

You want pot to be legal within your lifetime? Get a haircut, get a job, put on a tie and vote Libertarian.