Do the Residents Call Themselves "Fuckers?"

The concept of profanity is one that has always interested me greatly. The fact that a word, a sound or combination of sounds that symbolizes a meaning, can cause offense, simply because of the pleasantries of a particular society, is simply astounding. Discussing the subject with my boss, an Englishman hailing from Liverpool, he volunteered a supremely nasty English euphemism for poor, unwashed and generally disliked foreigners: wogs. The word derives from the heady days of Queen Victoria’s grand British Empire, when a single woman ruled over nearly a quarter of the human population and %33 of the Earth itself. This era of unprecedented imperial expansion, know ironically as “Pax Britannica,” was also marked by Britian’s subjugation of numerous “less-advanced” races and peoples for the purposes of physical labor. Today, we call these unfortunate souls “slaves.”

The poor bastards were required, with the help of British technology (mainly the muskets pointed at their backs) to build the infrastructure needed to make the land they called home worthy of forceful suppression by the British Empire. While on the job, these workers were sometimes required to wear green jackets with the letters “WOG” written in big white letters on their backs, meaning “Worker of the Government.”



Thankfully though, much like the employees of the Multnomah County District Attorney’s Office, free range was given as to what kind of shoes they could wear.

When Crispin, my boss, was explaining this interesting bit of history, he seemed to flinch each time the story required him to say the word “wog.” This term is so offensive, and caused him such discomfort, that he eventually started referring to the word as, “Well, you know.” In an effort to communicate the gravity of the word, he said, without a moment’s hesitation, “It’s sort of like the American word “nigger,” but a little worse.” Despite my best efforts, the surprise of hearing my quaint English boss say the word “nigger” caused me to flinch, while it caused Crispin no discomfort at all.

The word “wog” means nothing to me, much like the word “nigger” means nothing to Crispin, much the like the word “fuck” means nothing to a Japanese person, while the word “kusottare” means nothing to the rest of us. (Except, of course, I had to ask a Japanese friend for a bad Japanese word for the sake of this blog entry.)

The concept of profanity is clearly arbitrarily defined not just by cultural traditions, but also by fashion and modern culture. One of my favorite television programs of all time is Penn & Teller’s “Bullshit!” The reason they named the show “Bullshit!” is not just because it’s patently offensive and bound to get some attention, but also because it perfectly communicates the attitude of the show and its hosts regarding things like Feng Shui, UFO abductions, recycling, PETA and even profanity. Another reason the show is called “Bullshit!” is because of Harry Houdini.

Houdini, later in life, committed himself to debunking the modern fad of the séance and the charlatans that claimed they could communicate with the “other side.” That’s right, this parlor trick has been around for about a thousand years before John Edwards and James Von Praagh. Houdini, on a well-publicized quest to expose these frauds as the thieves and liars they were, called their claims “humbug.”



Did you flinch? Of course you didn’t, because the word “humbug” isn’t offensive, at least not to us. In Houdini’s time, saying “humbug” was about as bad as saying “horse shit!” in a room full of grannies at tea-time. Sort of gives you a new take on Ebenezer Scrooge, huh?

The concept of the “profane” varies from country to time period to language to ethnicity, except for swinging your cock in public like it was a dead chicken, that’s considered “profane” pretty much everywhere. So why get offended when someone on television says “poop chute?” Why get up-in-arms when a billboard has the word “snot” written on it? Come the fuck on, people, it’s time to lighten up.

Assholes.

In Austria, there is a town called Fucking. As best the elders of this small village can remember, their community was founded by the Fuck family, and the suffix “-ing” was added, as it commonly was, to signify it was as settlement. Their small town is frequently visited by tourists from the English-speaking world, driving up from the nearby city of Salzburg, simply to take photographs in front of their municipal signs. The city of Fucking has recently issued a public announcement: Please stop taking our Fucking signs.



At the end of the article where I read this amusing story, the following appears:

“…when someone asks them [the residents of Fucking] where they come from they are a little ashamed to say it."

Residents of two other Austrian communities, Windpassing and W**k on the Lake, suffered a similar reluctance, he added.”

I get “Windpassing,” and frankly, that’s pretty funny. Who doesn’t love a good fart joke every now and again? But what the fuck is “W**k on the Lake?” What naughty word are they omitting from their article? Week? Work? Wonk? Can anyone think of an offensive word in the English language that might fit?